I am part way through reading a book that has disturbed me greatly.

In it the writer tells of his experiences as a child in and out of care homes during the seventies. It makes for disturbing reading but is difficult to put down.

This man, this small child, was so affected by the break up of his parents’ relationship that he started to ‘kick off’. Mum found another partner who the child struggled to relate to. Relationships grew strained. The child was in trouble constantly and he and the stepfather were constantly at loggerheads. Sound familiar?

I guess this is a common enough story up to this point. We all see the results of relationship meltdowns in every classroom daily. But circumstances were about to get even worse for this little chap. He was raped by his stepbrother. He was threatened, told exactly what would happen to his brothers and his mother if he breathed a word to anyone. Needless to say he told no-one. His life, never a simple one, grew even more difficult from that point. He felt ashamed. He felt as if he was to blame for all the bad things that were happening.

He volunteered to go into a care home for ‘maladjusted boys’ and from then on he seems to have tried his hardest to live up to all the labels given to him.

I won’t go into the details. I won’t catalogue the different homes he ran away from. Or the different types of abuse he faced from people who were in a position of trust. I won’t detail the way he was medicated to try to keep him under control. Let’s just say that life wasn’t a doddle for him.

I wanted to share this story just to remind us that we often have no idea what is happening in the lives of the children with whom we work. When they gaze vacantly into space, what are they thinking? Is it just that they are off on some imaginary adventure, that school is the most boring place in the world? Or is it that something horrendous is going on in their life at that moment.

We are at the front line and we should be vigilant. We should notice signs. What is going on with this happy go lucky child who suddenly grows pensive. Why has that placid child suddenly become aggressive?

As well as behavioural and emotional changes there are physical signs that we can watch out for, bruising, burns, ligature marks, maybe cuts where a child has self-harmed.

I know that injuries are part of growing up. Children fall over and skin their knees regularly, but alarm bells should ring if a child has injuries in areas that normally aren’t points of contact, like the insides of thighs for instance.

Schools provide Child Protection training and I think it’s essential that all TAs attend. More than that though, we should be actively watching out for the tell tale signs and reporting any concerns that we may have directly to the Child Protection Officer.

If you don’t know who that is yet…you know what to do.

Find out!

Kids can be cruel can’t they. Sometimes they don’t realise just how cruel they are being. An unkind comment, a snub, or worse, a full blown fist fight in the playground.

But when do random unkind or aggressive acts become bullying?

Definitions of bullying talk about people trying to have power over another person. They talk about using intimidation and force to make others do what you want them to do, or of repeated aggressive acts against someone who can’t defend themselves.

But bullying isn’t just about physical force. It’s so much more complex than that.

There are different types of bullying. Cyber bullying involves the use of technology to intimidate and hurt victims. Children might send texts which are hurtful, or spread malicious rumours using social networking sites. This type of bullying is hard to detect. It is personal and it often reaches the victim in their own home. Just where we all need to feel safe.

Physical bullying involves repeated acts of aggression.  These bullies may punch, kick, pinch, push and shove, etc. Just as predators often hunt in packs, some bullies operate in pairs or in groups on the school playground or out of school hours.They might use their power to steal money or possessions from their victims. Some bullies even make their victims perform sexual acts.

Emotional bullying can consist of hurtful remarks, bullies might exclude a child from their group, purposely ignoring them and making them feel worthless. I know of adults who were emotionally bullied and who still struggle to maintain their self-esteem.

It’s hard enough being a child without having to watch out for bullies all the time. We’re supposed to keep children safe. It’s time that we kept them safe from bullies and let them get on with the job of growing up and learning.

All schools have anti-bullying policies, but it seems to me that approaches to bullying vary hugely, not just from school to school, but also between different staff members in schools. And that just isn’t right. Bullying is serious. It happens in every school and it has to be stopped. We need to be vigilant and proactive.

There are some great websites you can access to help understand bullying and to help spot the signs that a child is being bullied. Some are not UK based – www.kidpower.org.has free resources and some great ideas for parents to help their children to understand bullying and to keep safe. Another useful site is www.kidscape.org.uk. Or just google ‘bullying’ and have your eyes opened.

Bullying can lead to depression and low self-esteem. In extreme cases it can lead to suicide. It can’t continue.

A recent study has noticed that children who shout out in class go on to achieve better results in some tests. The thinking seems to be that they are more engaged in the learning than some of the children who don’t shout out.

Well, that’s a given isn’t it?

Now, put your hand up if you have a little character in your class who is constantly in bother for shouting out.

Yes, that’s what I thought. Shouting out isn’t encouraged. And, to be fair, it can be more than a little off putting to the child sitting next to the shouter-outer. They’ve probably just about worked out the answer when the wise guy next to them blurts it out. Their own moment of glory has slipped by. Next time they might not even bother to try.

The study says that, actually, children may learn better by being encouraged to shout out. And here’s me thinking that they were just unable to contain themselves because they knew the answer.

It does make you think though doesn’t it.

To me, what the study is saying is that children need to be actively engaged in the learning activities. It has to be two way. And it confirms to me that the children who are often in the most bother in class, are very often the brightest little sparks.

I know this doesn’t help the kids who just need a little longer to process their thoughts. The shouter outers are often too quick for anyone else to get a look in. I’m sure there are ways of encouraging all children to be involved without the teacher’s attention being totally diverted to the more confident characters.

Some schools encourage the children to use mini whiteboards to show their answers at their own pace. These can be a great way to get the whole class engaged for short periods of time. But what about the children whose brains are too quick for their hands? The answer pops in their heads and out of their mouths before they have time to write it down

I’m sure every TA in every school could give their own examples of how to engage children in interactive learning.

So come on, let’s share our ideas.

I’ve always been a bit ‘bothered’ by the notion of girls’ toys and boys’ toys.
As a child I would play on the pit hills and bomb sites that surrounded my home. I wore my brothers’ cast off jeans and climbed the one tree that graced our neighbourhood. But, even in my scruffiest den building days, I was still aware that I was a female. My brothers regularly played with my dolls. We all dressed up in whatever was around, frocks, blouses, jewellery. It didn’t alter the fact that they were boys.
I’ve always encouraged my own boys to just be themselves. They all had the same chances to express themselves as individuals. If they wanted a doll, that was fine. A toy vacuum cleaner….even better. I get cross when I see the aisles in shops labelled as ‘boys toys’ and ‘girls’ toys’ and I challenge all sexist comments made within my hearing,
But I must confess to feeling uncomfortable with the idea of a child being raised with no gender identity at all.
I’m referring of course to the youngster whose parents chose to raise their child simply as ‘the infant’ and whose gender, until recently, was a secret from all but a few people.
I’m sure we don’t have the full picture, and I suppose it’s their own business, but I can’t help feeling sorry for them.
I truly believe that boys and girls should have the same chances to pursue their interests and to do whatever they want with their lives. I really feel that we, as parents and as teaching assistants, should encourage all children to achieve to their full potential.
But the truth is…boys and girls are different.
You only have to look around a playground to see this. I’m not talking about things like football and dolls.
Look around you. Which kids are rough and tumbling? Which ones are playing rhyming games? Who is just watching, taking it all in?
I once attended a seminar on how to raise boys’ involvement and achievement in education.
The speaker reminded us that, in cave man times, the boys were off throwing spears and the girls were organising things back at the cave. OK, that may a bit simplistic. But the truth is we are different.
And that’s OK. It’s fine to be different.
Just as long as we are equal.

We love labels in the teaching profession don’t we.
Dys this and AD that. We love to find a ‘proper’ reason for the actions and the behaviour of the children we support.
I’ve just been chatting with a good friend of mine whose son, at just eight years old, is in the process of being labelled. His teacher last year thought he might have ADHD, This year, the school wonders if he has ASD. They have said they will be contacting the educational psychologist to have him assessed.

His mother is worried sick. She believes he is just a bit immature and lively.

I’ve tried to reassure her, encouraged her to talk to school, to see the visit from the educational psychologist as a positive. But she sees the whole thing as a bit of a stigma.

I have to say I was taken back to the days when my own children were in Primary school. I remember so well the walk of shame into the classroom as the other mums were heading off home and we were kept behind. The reasons were varied. Once it was because my son had insisted upon going the wrong way around the hall in dance. I was told this was unacceptable as ‘all the other children followed him instead of the teacher.’ Another time he was in trouble for handing out the paper the wrong way. Instead of taking a piece and passing the pile along, he was handing the lot round the table, despite being told many times to do it the teacher’s way. KS2 came and things went from bad to worse. He would insist on talking to adults as if he were their equal. He would ask embarrassing questions of the vicar when he took assembly.

Can you see where this is going?

To me, his mother, he was a lively, immature little boy. To the teachers he was a contrary, outspoken horror who had to do things his own way.
Parents’ evenings were a nightmare. There we would sit, on tiny chairs, our heads hung in shame.I cried when I was told by one teacher that my son had no friends and they thought he should see the psychologist.

What shame! My son needed to see a psychologist.

These days I would understand that an educational psychologist understands how children learn. I would see them as a positive. But in those days I remember thinking that they were the first step to some bedlam-like incarceration for my son.
So, I was able to totally empathise with my friend. Better still, I could reassure her that ed psychs don’t usually have horns and a forked tail, and that they are always on the side of the child. I advised her to talk to the SENCO at her son’s school to set her mind at rest.
If there are difficulties, they will find a way round them, for the sake of her son.

Oh, by the way, my son turned out quite well thank you.
He is, and always will be one of a kind.
And, yes, I love him that way.

I love my fresh start each January. It’s my chance to begin afresh, to break old bad habits and establish new ones. We all need that fresh start, that second chance.

I’ve always had a soft spot for the more challenging pupils.  They are the children who stand outside the Head’s office, waiting to confess their latest escapade. Look at them, with their eyes downcast, their shoulders hunched as they consider their fate. Or maybe they are glaring defiantly at passers by. What’s going on in their minds? What’s going on in their lives?

Some kids start off on the wrong foot in Reception class and their reputations follow them throughout school. Their names echo round the staff room as their crimes are re-examined daily over coffee and a custard cream. No wonder these children re-offend. Let’s face it, we expect it of them.

Maybe it’s time to give them a fresh start.

New Year is a great time to discuss fresh starts with these children, but so are new terms, new weeks…new days. After all, a year is a long time to wait to be given a second chance. Some children need a fresh start every lesson.

I was talking to a TA recently about her work with an older pupil. This child has a lot of negative stuff going on at home. As you’d expect, this affects his school work and his behaviour.

The TA told me how she has worked with this pupil to establish a trusting relationship. She described how she has helped him to identify the types of behaviour that are unacceptable. She helped him to draw up a behaviour contract, one that lists clear expectations and sets out consequences to unwanted behaviour. He took a major part in drawing up this contract and has said that he finds it helpful as a tool to remind him of the expectations of others.

This wasn’t done overnight. It takes a long time to build up that type of relationship with a child. It requires honesty, consistency, understanding and mutual respect. This child still has some major problems around his behaviour. His home life is still disruptive and unsettled and still impacts upon his school life, but he knows, and the TA knows, that every day is a chance for a new beginning.

A fresh start.

It’s not easy starting school.
For a start, nearly everyone is bigger than you. New experiences are around every corner, and whether they are viewed as exciting or terrifying depends upon the child’s individual circumstances. Did they have the chance to interact with other children in pre-school settings? How independent are they at home? Maybe they have a sibling at the school already? It can take a while for some children to settle into the routines and TAs can help enormously.

I was fortunate enough to meet a remarkable child a few weeks ago. A tiny wee dot of a child with an angelic smile and an incredibly strong will.

The TA was taking a guided reading group, a challenging task with children of this age. She was clever enough to play to their strengths. Repetition and rhyme featured strongly, as you would expect, and this was supplemented by lots of visual and tactile props. Bright pictures for the children to point to and talk about were magically brought to life as the TA rummaged in her bag and produced these as actual things for them to touch and play with. A picture of a cake led to chatter about picnics and parties. When pieces of cake were placed on the table the children were inspired. OK…the cake was plastic. It didn’t matter. The children still took it carefully, sharing it so that everyone had a piece. The TA managed the chatter so that the group were always focused on the story but linking it to their own experiences. She used Makaton signing and encouraged the children to sign to each other.
The trouble started when the activity ended and the group had to return to class. Despite the efforts of two other adults the one, smallest, child was not for returning. A full blown tantrum was on the way and two experienced adults were no match for this little dot.

The TA I was with stepped forward quietly and calmly. She gestured for the others to move back. She dropped to the level of the child and lowered her voice so that the little one had to be quiet to hear her. She made eye contact and calmly repeated the instruction that had sparked off the tantrum. She asked the child what was the problem for her and let the child know that she understood how she was feeling. She explained why the child had to follow the instruction and repeated it once more. Slowly, the child began to nod. The TA moved away, half standing, and used open body language to encourage the child to do the same. She smiled and signed as she repeated the request. Soon, the child was happily trotting along beside the other children into class.

The TA’s actions were instinctive, and I know that TAs in every school deal with children in this way regularly. But this particular child has Down’s syndrome and communication is very difficult for her. She has problems with processing auditory instructions and so the TA’s use of signs and gestures helped enormously. She played to the child’s strengths, which are visual. She allowed her time to process her thoughts and to verbalise her feelings and the result was positive. The tantrum was avoided. Job done.